So we are not who the celestial coordinate system said we were? Instead we are astrologically orphans now. That is outrageous!!!! How can the celestial coordinate system be an unreliable soursse when it comes to the personality of every single individual on earth? Wow, I’m so beyond shocked… no one could have predicted this, NO ONE! It’s crazy and makes me want to curl up in bed and cry… I liked being a sagitarian and be continually told I should love sports… now I won’t get that anymore! It’s unfair, I adored that label as much as every other… The world starts shaking when a constant is lost… the zodiacal Y2K should be no exception… what are we going to do now? Our sunny disposition is messed up now, people!
I’m concerned about Astrologists for example. Does this mean they are now unemployed? Are they going to ask for further proof or are they simply going to go underground and form a support group? If we come to think about it, they were cheated on too… everything they believed in (and preached about) has now been proved and reported as false and it’s going to take some time before they get used to the “new zodiac”… hopefully they will sort things and and avoid extinction. Maybe they have a future writing self help books about coming to terms with the new reality of being wrong for so long. It’s not like the aforementioned celestial coordinate system can sue them… in fact, shame on you celestial thing for misleading us poor human beings! We trusted you!
Sadly, the economy will be affected deeply, aside from Astrologist losing their jobs and Astrology books not selling anymore, we are probably going to experience a significant increase in the identity crisis department. That could imply people won’t be able to be as focused and inspired as when we all had the horoscope to rely on. In consequence, it wouldn’t be rare if Human Resources departments everywhere have a work overload. In addition, we should anticipate that Prozac is going to become the new back… and speaking about colors, the shade assigned to every sign will be questioned… beware designers around the world! Another hit to the already fragile economy will occur when people demand for a refund for the zodiacal application on their phones, that means millions, but i’s not all so grim, on the upside magazines have now one more page available for advertising!!!! Yay to that!
That being said, I feel for those who have tattoos inspired on their alleged zodiacal sign… but there is hope for a few of them, a fish could mean many things after all… and it’s still a better choice than an angel holding a rose… on the other hand, formerly Taurus people who inked an animal with horns in your skin, my condolences to all of you, you do not deserve to be mocked! Then again you could say you were aiming for a badass Bambi… the Zodiac may have changed but the brightest strategy in history has not, so “deny, deny, deny”.
I wonder how these breaking news will weight on the law now, could incompatibility of characters because of the sign change become grounds for divorce now? Oh boy… and what about the “Zodiac Killer”? He might have gotten away with all those murders, but hey, he was WRONG!!!! Maybe he is ashamed now, he might even have some shred of remorse… he was profiled as organized, yet he missed this tiny detail… oh, wait, serial killers have no remorse and he’s dead…
Now this is really tragic, what happens now to the most unfortunate conversation opener ever? Who will dare to ask “so what’s your sign?”? If that ceased to happen, smart-ass comeback punchlines die by association… and I happen to love those! Damn it! So what really begs the question is: will “do you come here often?” to be the #1 line of choice now? Peachy…
On my top 3 funny stories about pick up lines, one that starts why “what’s your sign?” is high up on the list, closely followed by another where someone else decided to open with the same original catch phrase minutes later and then said and swore he was an Astrologist, which completely ruined my chance to come with a snarky reply! Now that story is obsolete because the poor guy was a victim! Okay, I guess now “Hi, I’m Jesus, how you doin’?” can be at the top of my list, Religion is a much more richer source or material anyway… but let’s move on…
Now I am not a sagitarian I feel the urge to be positive, which is ironic, so let’s think positive, something good has to come from this debacle… let’s see, at the top of my head I’m thinking “Great, I’m a Libra now? One more reason for people to assume I am a lawyer… just great”. I can be positive, see? I did not have an uncharacteristic temper for a sagitarian, because I was never one! Oh wait, this feels liberating after all, the universe does not play chess with us! We should celebrate instead of ruining around like recently beheaded chicken! Still, something tells me panic will prevail…
Watch out Feng shui, you may come next!
