People lie. IT. BLOWS. It’s sad, lame, immature and today’s currency… I could get over it because it’s “normal”, but that enrages me more! I could not address this topic or show the finger to the lier of the hour, have my coffee and curse. But there’s one thing that makes me unable to let liers go: it’s not only the pain and the lingering hostility it’s the excuse that follows! The unfortunate wording, the textbook behavior… this new-found asshole that was/is in your life… so I’m addressing it!
When people rant about why they lie I turn into The Terrible Hulk -not pretty. Even so, I always listen the pathetic why. Maybe a part of me hopes for a justifiable lie, but it’s always the same crap: “otherwise I would have hurt you”, “you were already sad”, “wasn’t my truth to say”, “I’m telling now…”, “I swear I was going to tell you eventually”, “I thought it was best for you to be in the dark”, “how would I know you’d be pissed about me lying” and so on… excuses… no one has the right to lie, aka, create a world, where everything is fake. A game you were not asked in, but forced into.
You didn’t NEED to know? You should be who decides that! I’ll say this much: liars don’t confess, they get caught, or think they did and then they talk. They don’t nip and tuck the truth to avoid hurting, they hurted you and disguised it! But why would they hurt you in the first place? And isn’t lying a second offence? To me it is, and at times, worst than the actual wrong deed. Plus, nothing good FOR THEM would have came if you knew, good or bad, if it concerns you even in a small way, you are entitled to know. And WHEN you do is no one’s choice. Keeping the truth from someone is having power over the information and said person; it equals manipulation.
“You were in a bad shape”, gotta love that one, so it was your fault they lied? They HAD to delay the communication process until you were ok to take the truth? WHAT?! “You were miserable because we had a fight so I’m telling you months later that I cheated because after the terrible argument it would have been worse.” or “since you were crying I couldn’t tell you I had a party the previous week and didn’t invite you; I wasn’t expecting my beau to post pics on Facebook”. How does that “keeping” the facts help you now, and why wait until you figured it out? Fishy all the way to jerkgate.
“It wasn’t my truth to say”, says the accessory to the lie… Truth has owners now, peachy.
The bastard wasn’t able to tell you because this person was waiting for the primary liar to fess up. So this angel kept lying knowing this affected you, which means it was YOUR truth to know! This sad excuse of a friend/relative/acquaintance/whatever could have helped you, but CHOSE not to! Isn’t that taking sides AND a stand? Or does this godsend think lying second is a neutral position? This character is dangerous. This is the kind of garbage who will lie and then blame… this is someone who lied to you. Period.
Epic one: “but I’m telling you now…” Whenever I hear that, I feel I have shark DNA in me. Whoever says that just got caught and is lying again. Which I translate as: “I think you are stupid enough to trust a lier twice”, this creep already underestimated you by keeping the truth and invented something that never happened or denied what did, and now claims he/she IS telling you?! Because you found out! So basically, the lier’s redundant, not coming clean. You have proof and they know it! That’s the only reason behind the sudden honesty! Get away NOW he/she is “TELLING” you!
When a scumbag says “I was gonna tell you eventually”: eventually = when you found the skeleton in the closet, if you ever do. Just run! FAST! Sure, the jackass was gonna tell you… eventually… eventually means when pigs fly! This ass was not saying a word, but you can’t get mad, because there were good intentions implied: you were gonna know EVENTUALLY! Oh, come on! “Are you two or you think I am?”
“I was ABOUT to tell you”: typical caught-in-the-act response! It’s the same as “I was telling eventually” only you ARE there when the events unfold, hence, the answer is easy: “about to tell me? Now!? But instead of telling me you are doing it!” So the excuse itself is ridiculous! “About to” means what? Couldn’t you tell me BEFORE? Since you were SO telling me… please! Underestimating me much, hon?”
If you haven’t left cursing in tongues, following the previous sentence comes this golden one “how would I know you’d get pissed about it?”. This individual misinformed you BECAUSE you were bound to be, at the very least, disturbed. This hero didn’t spill because he/she was aware of how outraged you`d be, that’s the key for choosing to lie; not having to deal with the aftermath, but it’s fair you deal with a lie… If you haven’t storm out after hearing this -what’s taking so long?- you’ll hear this words “if I had known, I would have said something”. Ok, let the rage come out right about now, dear victim, command this moron to burn in hell. He/she genuinely thought you wouldn’t get mad, and PREVENTED you from knowing anyway? That makes sense? And who is this asshole to asses what will get you angry? The -at best- obliterated data helped this genius somehow… but it wasn’t a selfish act because if this protector knew you’d freak he/she would have told you?! WHAT?! A thoughtful lier!? Wow! What a f*king gift!
My fave, and ironically, the hottest pick for liars: “it was best for you to be in the dark”, so it was in your own best interest but you had no say in it… weird, and not possessive at all… no manipulation, no benefit to anyone else but you… hey! You weren’t the target of the lie, you were honored by it but didn’t know! Yay! You should feel so damned flattered, only that… WHAT!? Didn’t this guardian deserve you realizing? And why do you hate not to have known from the start? IF YOUR BOYFRIEND WAS CHEATING you’d want to know A.S.A.P.! Even if it hurted! When you start yelling or crying, the offenders who use this line are calm and try to minimize the lie at all costs, so you’ll hear things around the neighborhood of “it’s not a big deal”. Give the finger! “Isn’t it? So why hide it if it’s trivial? First you decide I shouldn’t know, then you tell me I’m overreacting and should calm down -or worse, say thanks? Do you want to pick my firstborn’s name as well? Ass!”
Now go home and cry. It’s your right, the one the cheap lier did not take this time. You were lied to, you believed one thing while many others were happening, you were laughed at, taken advantage of, your trust was violated by someone that abused your love and or your condition (i.e. if you were away or sick). Why? Lies give liars an edge over you, lies dictate what you do and how you react (or not). Lying is cheating and lying is not a mistake is a willing choice. And don’t ever believe it’s for your own good, white lies are utopic. But if I’m wrong, if there is a grey zone in misleading, prove me wrong, give me a good example.
Liars are players, and as the song says, “players only love you when they are playing”. Say game over.